Things I Can't Say

So in the interest of keeping the peace, I have to keep my mouth shut this weekend. I've realized this is slightly easier with a baby because I can hide in a back room while pretending to nurse, rock, or just "check on" said baby. Here are some of the things I've thought but couldn't say in the last 24 hours.

• Clearly being retired is so much more work than being a grad student with a baby. What was I thinking?
  
• Pee on her!
  
• Am I supposed to apologize for buying food in a grocery store?
• You're not supposed to do Tummy Time after a baby eats, but what the hell, it's not my carpet.
• I really have to go to the bathroom (while pretending to be nursing a baby in the back room)
• Why didn't I bring snacks and a drink in here? (while pretending to be putting a baby to sleep in the back room)
• Holy Shit! Did you just say "there's some really good wine out there?"
  
• I should have packed a bottle of wine.

So far, I think I've stayed out of trouble. And since the ancient CD player is broken, we have to play B's lullaby off of their laptop. Yay for internet access in the baby's room. Someone remind me to stash our laptop in B's room the next time we have visitors.