Last night was our last childbirth class, and the last hour was supposed to be devoted to teaching relaxation techniques. I'm actually a fan of relaxation, but last night wasn't exactly what I would call relaxing. Here's why...
Having very pregnant women lay on a concrete floor (okay, I realize this can't exactly be helped) is never really the pinnacle of relaxation. To make it a little more awkward, the substance abuse meeting across the hall decided that watching childbirth class through the door was more entertaining than anything else they could do on their break. I'll admit that by this point I was seriously questioning my ability to pretend that I was completely relaxed and lying on a beach somewhere.
The true deal breaker, however, was not the floor or the rehab audience, but when the instructor talked about music and then turned on Mariah Carey's Hero, I was done. It didn't help that we'd just finished a cheesy 80s Lamaze video that featured the dad changing into a muscle shirt for the delivery, but I'm pretty sure if their had been a exam, Greg and I would have failed. Here's to hoping that Michael J. Fox (circa 1980s with lots of hair gel and a muscle shirt), Mariah Carey, and local substance abuse support groups stay far far away from my hospital room.
2 comments:
Ok, I am with you on the Mariah Carey/substance abuse thing. ut I would pay good money to have Alex P. Keaton talk me through my pregnancy.
Ok, I am with you on the Mariah Carey/substance abuse thing. But I would pay good money to have Alex P. Keaton talk me through my pregnancy.
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