The five people who so who actually follow this blog may have noticed that's it has been rather quiet lately. This is partly due to the fact that I've been incredibly busy, but mostly due to the fact that over the last 18 months or so, I've been contemplating some big changes.
Those of you who know me personally know that I'm currently working on a a PhD in English Studies with an emphasis in Children's and Adolescent literature. When I began contemplating this degree I was recently engaged. I didn't have a child. I lived in an apartment on the edge of a sinkhole (not joking). 4 years of PhD program later, I'm a very different person.
That doesn't mean I don't want a PhD, but it does means that my life is more complicated than it was when I first envisioned this process. So for the 2010-11 academic year, I have requested and have been granted a leave of absence.
This means that the university has granted me a year of no dissertation hours(although I plan on continuing) and they will hold my assistantship. The following year, I will then have the option to come back full time and continue my assistantship or to continue part time until I finish.
This is not a decision I made lightly. This is a conversation I have been having with my advisor and handful of people for the last 18 months. I have put off making this decision for a variety of reasons because I knew it carried major implications. I did not want to make this decision in the heat of the moment, or while I was pregnant, or while I was dealing with the sleep deprivation of a newborn, but ultimately over the last year and half I have returned to the same conclusion. I need to finish my PhD for me, but my goal is not to teach in a high pressure academic environment. This does not mean that I will not continue teaching, but it does mean that I will not sacrifice my family for a teaching job that does not allow me to achieve the balance I desire.
I plan to use this next year to figure out what is best not just for me, but also for my family. I would have loved to have talked to many of you about this decision, but due to a complex process and some administration changes, I was not able to discuss it until it was officially approved by the Graduate College. My apologies to those who are caught by surprise by this decision. Academia is a politically charged world and while I would have loved to have told you all this personally, I had to ultimately ensure that I did not burn any bridges.
4 comments:
I'm glad you made the best decision for you and your family. We support you no matter what.
Oh man, I cannot tell you how glad I am to read this. It sounds like I am considering the same things right now. We should talk. This is such a huge decision, a huge change of gears. How in the world do you know you are making the right decision?!
Wow--good for you. You need to do what's best for you and your family.
@Melissa and Beth Thanks for your support
@Linden I'd be more than happy to talk. Email me and we can figure out a time to chat. As for knowing that it is the right decision. I don't know 100% that it is, but I do know that either way I go, I can always play "what-if." I do know that feel like it is the right decision because I've kept coming back to the same issues over and over again.
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