Bad Mothering Lesson #1: This morning while Googling to see what "moderate consumption" of Splenda means, I discovered some interesting responses. Most start something like this.
If you love your baby and yourself, absolutely not! My [mom, doc, friend, sister] who is a [doctor, midwife, scientist, general know-it-all] says it causes the baby to develop...
- cancer
- ADHD
- drug and alcohol addiction (I'm not really sure how babies are born alcoholics, she didn't elaborate on this)
- birth defects
- seizures
- anger management issues
after about a week i started stuttering i couldnt finish a sentence without stutteringSince most of these contain no research to back up their claims, I asked at my doctor's appointment. The first thing she said "DON'T Google that. There are a lot of nut cases out there." Point taken.
Bad Mothering Lesson #2: Sitting in the doctors office.
Me: eating a string cheese because I scheduled this appointment for 8:15 in the morning and was running late.
Other Pregnant Woman: Where did you find organic string cheese?
Me: It's not organic.
OPW: Do you know what's in that stuff?
Me: (annoyed that this woman is talking to me) umm...non-organic milk.
OPW: I can't believe any woman would eat that stuff and risk her baby's life.
Me: Thanks. I'll look into that.
OPW: I just don't know why anyone would intentionally ingest all of those poisonous chemicals.
Me: Maybe because they are busy or have jobs and don't live in a utopia and have to make choices that aren't black and white.
OPW: where's utopia?
OPW woman gets called back.
Bad Mothering Lesson #3: Shopping for maternity pants
Me: do you sell these in short lengths?
Saleswoman: we have 2-3 styles in short, but babies really prefer these?
Me: excuse me?
Saleswoman: these pants are the most comfortable for the baby, but they don't come in short. You'd have to have them hemmed or wear heels.
Me: I'm really just interested in pants that are comfortable for me, so I'll try the short ones.
Saleswoman: (sighs and points me to the pants) we clearly need to find you some maternity tops as well.
Me: no, that's okay. I'm only looking for pants today. I still have several tops that fit.
Saleswoman: (semi-under her breath). you girls today just don't understand how dangerous it is to put your own comfort over the comfort of your baby.
I seriously think this woman might be unstable. I don't even know how my oversized t-shirts are dangerous, but I knew better than to ask. So, I left everything in the store and went to Target.
2 comments:
Whoa! Crazies, the lot of them.
I do have a book suggestion for you. Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay by Stefanie Wilder-Taylor. Basically it says that most people are crazy about what you *have* to do and *have* to have for babies. Its hilarious.
Wow. I mean, wow. I encountered a lot of crazies and annoying, judgmental "suggestions" when I was pregnant, but I never quite reached that circle of crazy. Seriously, you seem to have this ability for inadvertently getting into conversations with all sorts of oddballs. I always liked the traditional "What to Expect when You're Expecting." Practical, non-alarmist advice. I would really love to know how pants with shorter legs are harmful to a baby. Wouldn't the regular pants be potentially more harmful if you were to, say, trip on them because they're too long? I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about.
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